Your marriage ending is a win.

If your marriage ends as a result of working with me, I’m going to consider it a win.

Now hear me out, I’m not trying to create an army of gleefully divorced women. But I also kinda am a little.

If your relationship ends because you start taking up more space, if it ends because you start advocating for your needs, if it ends because you listened to the little voice inside that says “I want more then this”…then maybe that’s not a terrible thing.

I could sense that my marriage had run out of room for me to grow long before I did anything about it. But it felt too selfish to say “hey, I don’t think I’m happy anymore and I don’t know what to do about that.” There were three people who stood to get really hurt if I did that, and I was just one person. So I figured it was better for me to just try to make things work and hopefully making everyone else happy would eventually make me happy. But it didn’t. It just left me hurting and depressed and feeling like an invisible observer of my life, instead of the main character.

My deepest hope is that when you start to ask for what you need and want, when you make space for your desires, that your relationships expand and improve and grow and allow for you to do that. But if they don’t, and you decide to leave, I’m going to be so proud of you for choosing yourself. That’s the real win.