the summer that wasn't
Happy Sunday friends,
How are you doing? Like honestly, though, how has August been treating you? I’ve been in a bit of a funk these past couple weeks and I’m not quite sure what’s going on, but I know it’s been made worse by the summer that wasn’t.
On the summer solstice, my girlfriend and I sat by the river and talked about our hopes and intentions for summer. I dreamed of lazy days lounging in the sun, tackling house projects like painting our bedroom, and maybe even having a few adventures with my kiddos.
But it just hasn’t panned out like that. The weather has been grey, rainy and full of thunderstorms. I’ve spent this summer stressed out about money, annoyed by the presence of my kiddos being home from school, and feeling generally too run down and tired to make progress on any of my intentions.
Last summer was the best summer and this summer was the summer that just wasn’t.
Which of course, isn’t a problem. Not every summer needs to be the best summer ever. Of course not. But the truth is, I’m worried. I don’t know if I stocked up enough fun, enough joy, enough Vitamin D to get me through the winter.
But what really made last summer magical?
Was it falling in love with my best friend? Yes, absolutely that.
But it was so much more than that. It was the lessons I learned, not in my head, but in my body. The things that I felt so deeply to be true. Here’s what I wrote last summer:
The Lessons
Stop overthinking everything. You know what you know. You want what you want. Trust your feelings — maybe even let them be in the driver’s seat for a bit. And stop limiting your dreams. Want the things you think you can’t have. It’s absolutely magical when you do. So ask for more, ask for too much. Let joy expand and fill you up. Let desire consume you. And then find more trust, because you need to not rush. It’s okay to go slow, letting things unfurl at their own pace. So often we try to push things forward, make them go in our timeline, worried about missing out. Surrender to the plans of the universe. She has so much good in store for you.
Have I been overthinking everything? Yes.
Have I been limiting my dreams? Yes.
Have I been asking for more, for too much? Nope. I’ve been asking for just enough to get by.
Have I been trying to make things go according to my timeline? Yup.
Have I been worried about missing out? Yup. Yup. Yup.
Well….fuck.
Sometimes we need a reminder of the things we’ve already learned.
So back I go to the toolbox, reach in and pull out the ones that served me so well last summer:
weekly tarot card pulls
journaling (specifically journaling about what I want, or imagining what it would be like to already have them)
daily stupid walks
drinking more water (I hate that I have to put this on here, but honestly it’s the stupid basics that make such a difference)
remembering that Virgo season is still summer and we’ve got a whole month until Autumn is officially here
paying attention to my feelings (let’s all collectively roll our eyes, I’m right there with you, but then maybe just give it just a tiny try)
I might even go wild and try to create a meditation practice. Let’s go Virgo season!
Talk soon,
Joeli